Penis Enhancement.

“Only huge boners can reach g-spot imponderous‏”
I love e-mails like that.
But they don’t realize…
my penis is already too big for penis enhancements.
Sorry.
;P

Hm. I enjoy sexism.

Makes me laugh like a BITCH.
"How many men does it take to open a beer?"
Well. I'd say three. The answer? "None. It should already be open when she brings it to him."
Fucking great.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There's a clock on the oven.
What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
LOVELY.

Twitter, religion, and pregnant women.

So people are whining on Twitter about losing followers. "WAAHHHHH WAAAHHHH EVERYONE HATES ME WAAAAHHHH." Blahblah. Twitter is deleting n00dy p0rn bots. Why so srs?! Bleh. Making me mad.
Anyways. How have you been? Really? That's nice to know.
Have you ever noticed that people who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them?
A christian: "BELIEVE IN GOD. HE'S EVERYTHING. HE MADE YOU."
Athiest: "But i don't believe--"
The christian: "Fuck you."
At least that's how I imagine those conversations going.
Also, never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. They WILL bite your heads off.
Just sayin'.

Random thoughts.

If girls with large boobs work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP? If a lesbian has sex with other women but never with another man is she still considered a virgin? When two people marry, they say, "you may kiss the bride", but what do they say if two MEN get married? Can a black person join the kkk? When there's two men who "get married", do they both go to the same bachelor party? Now, i know boobs, lesbian sex, gay marriage, and racism aren't the BEST blog, but seriously. I've always wondered this.
Aside from that, i'd like to say i got an amazing text from Christian. It started out with "Let me come over." My reply? "I'd love for you to, but i can't affored another bed, considering we'd break the one i have." Him: "Who said we need a bed? I'll just slam you up against the wall and fuck you there. Maybe take you to a shower. It'll be hot and steamy." My reply? It took me awhile to think of a response for that. I came up with this: "Fuck. Yes."
Aren't i clever?

Komm und rette mich, Ich schaff nicht ohne dich

Hello.
ZOMGSITSNOTDERMOANYMORE.
Yup. That's right. Dermo is no longer here. For five weeks, anyways.
:'( I hope you are all as sad as i am.
Anywho, i will be taking over for the next five weeks, and contributing to this blog 4EVAR.
:D
Hm...what to talk about? Well. I will talk about me.
Hello. My name is Veronica. You can call me V, Kay, Ronna, or just Veronica. I'm in like with you. That's right. You. I enjoy long walks on the beach, horse rides, and candle lit dinners...or not. Okay..i'll be serious. I'm a vegetarian. I don't sit on chairs, i sit on the ground. I wear bows and headbands around my head. I collect comic books. I wear skinny jeans and converse. I have glasses. My eyeliner is too dark. I text too much. I am bisexual. I know German, some Italian, and some Spanish. I'm half English, part Irish, part Indian, and FULL SEXY BBY. I like lions. I am extremely interested in weather, and photography. I've been singing since i could talk. I play guitar, piano, violin, the flute, and my voice? I am in love with my best friend, and only Dermo knows who this person is. I'm always the last one to say something when asked a question, but i have the best answer. I've had black, blue, blonde, red, purple, green, auburn, and pink hair. I have a loud voice. I also have a low voice. I am fourteen. I am a nerd. I can dead lift 150 pounds. I am what some people would call "classy". I don't act "lady-like". I have an amazing sense of humor, tbh. I have weird facial expressions and i immitate people's voices like a pro. I have horrible memory. I type A LOT. I laugh when people try to talk bad about me, but i can't take a compliment. NINJAS FTW. I am about 5'8'', and i have bright green eyes. And...i can't think of anything else. Any questions?

EDIT

Diarmuid: Lulz. She said dick in the title.

Pizz in mah pants.

I promise I will do a real blog soon, but I found this funny.

Brid: hi x

Me:CAN YOU STOP GIVING ME XS?!???

Brid: ok why?

Me: BECAUSE IT MAKES ME NERVOUS AND I PEE MY PANTS.

Brid: ...

Me: ...

Brid: Your kinda weird.

<333333333333

Hey, you're hot. Can i have your number? Leave it in a comment bbe. ;)

Yes, that's right, I can pick up girls via my amazingly witty blogs.

Now. On to more pressing things.

I am so zomfg HAPPY!!

I love love. Don't you?

Not just because I'm in love, although the sheer force of that is enough to induce seizures.

Because the coolest person in the world is in love, and loved back.

So can i get a hell YES! for love?

I hope i can.

H3y sexy b1tch..

$ jocelyn! says:

Stranger: wat r u wearing

You: a strap on.

Stranger: awesome

Omegle. Just do it. With me. Please.